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Once upon a time there lived 2 girls who were both a bit on the dramatic and emotional side. Over the course of their friendship, it became apparent to BLOGGERGIRL that a friendship with DRAMAQUEEN meant sacrificing her own sanity for the sake of the friendship, but she did so because in the beginning, the friendship was mutually beneficial.
As time went on, tension between BLOGGERGIRL and DRAMAQUEENrose and despite all attempts at accepting that DRAMAQUEEN’s personality wasn’t always the easiest to deal with and moving on, it became too much for BLOGGERGIRL to handle.
After a series of smaller but not insignificant arguments, BLOGGERGIRLand DRAMAQUEEN had a big blow out BLOGGERGIRL asked DRAMAQUEEN for a break from the friendship.
Just as things were starting to (slowly) get back on the friendship track……..
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“So Tmr night wanna hang?”
“I can’t now sorry! I got tickets to _______ =( Are you free Thursday?”
“I close. Friday?”
“Bah, I have 2 different things on Friday possibly. If it works out that I’m having dinner/drinks with GIRL#1, you’re more than welcome to join us but BF’s gone all week and if I have to go _______ to meet him on Friday night, I may have to bail on plans.”
“Okay well let me know [about Friday] those are my only two days off work. I work til 9 or 10 every other day. Unless you want to hang out Sunday at like 8…. And I don’t really want to join you and GIRL#1 considering I’m an after thought. If I was invited from the start she would have texted me. I don’t see any of my friends anymore but I guess you guys all make plans with each other. The only time I see my friends is when I text them. It’s really annoying. And I’m not talking about you.”
“I’m not around this weekend – BF’s family reunion is out of town but I’ll let you know as soon as I can. And I made these plans with GIRL#1 late last night… it wasn’t a big thing at all and it wasn’t that you’re an afterthought because the plans aren’t even for sure.”
“Okay well I guess just let me know [about Friday]. I just miss you guys and soon I won’t even be working downtown so I’ll see you even less.”
“And this is the second time I’ve invited you to spend time with you this week DRAMAQUEEN. If you have issues with other people not making effort, please tell them that.”
“I do tell them that. It never makes a difference. Sorry I said anything but I specifically said it wasn’t you. I’ve also put in effort with you this week as well. I’m just trying to see my friends who I miss before it becomes even more difficult for me to see you guys.”
“I’m not saying you haven’t [put in effort].. I’m saying that you’re implying that we’re going behind your back to make plans when that’s not the case at all considering I invited you. I can only control my own plans so if you feel uninvited because of GIRL#1 for whatever reason, that’s your issue with her.”
“That’s not what I was implying at all. I said if my friends wanted to see me, they would invite me. And then said I’m not talking about you meaning you’re the only person who has invited me lately. Therefore I am sick of crying to the others and would rather hang out with those who invite me than them. As my friend I thought it would be okay to make that comment considering when you have issues with GIRL#2 or GIRL#3 or GIRL#4 I would expect you to feel okay saying those things around me. But forget I said anything.”
» 4 hours and 54 minutes later…………
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“I feel like I can’t do anything right with you. When we’re good you make me feel great but a lot of times you make me feel like I can’t be ME with you. When I try to act how I think you want me to it backfires and when I act like myself you seem to have no patience for me these days. I don’t understand it but I think it’s best if I back off from you for a bit. I hope you understand.”
“That’s totally fine DRAMAQUEEN.”
“Well I’m glad you’re happy with that. My feelings have been hurt all day so I’m just over trying. Just remember when summer’s over and GIRL#3 finds a new crew as she always does, you have friends who really want to be part of your life. I just feel like you stopped caring about me the minute you and her were good again. And also, I recognized your effort but you said you wanted to make plans just us two this week and I called you Sunday to let you know my days off and you made plans with other people for both those days. It made me feel like you didn’t care about spending time with just me like you said.”
» Later that night or sometime in the wee hours of the morning…………
Facebook Inbox Message:
From: DRAMAQUEEN
To: BLOGGERGIRL
Listen,
I don’t want to fight. In fact I miss you so much it hurts. I can’t remember the last time we had a real conversation or hung out or laughed together.
I miss that I can’t tell you what’s bugging me like I used to be able to and that lately when I mention something brief in passing like “I’m annoyed that my friends don’t want to hang out with me” even though I clarified that I didn’t mean you that you brush me off and tell me to talk to them about it. I wasn’t implying that you guys were making plans behind my back. I meant the words I said and nothing more.
Fact is, I always talk to my friends when they upset me. I don’t hide my feelings from my friends. You of all people should know that. But for a long time now I’ve felt like either I don’t get heard or if I am being heard I feel like certain people don’t care to change or to include me. And again, I don’t mean you.
I tried not to care for about a month and to be the person everyone made me feel they wanted me to be but honestly at the end of the day I do care and always have.
I hate that you and GIRL#3 have become so close lately. I don’t know if I hate it more because I feel that when u are close with her your less close with me or if it’s because she once begged me not to leave her but in the end she never cared about my friendship enough to keep it or to even try at all to earn it back…when she cared enough to earn it back with you. And truth is, I miss her.
I know you say I’m selfish, and I definitely can be at times. But I think at the end of the day I do a lot for others too! Maybe lately I haven’t listened to you as much as I should have or asked as many questions as you wanted me to but I also didn’t know that You needed someone to talk to because you never brought up an issue to me-with the exception to the text asking me to give u space-
Try to understand that I was completely selfless when GIRL#3 and I were so close. I did so much for her with nothing in return, I listened to every conversation about boys for more than two years and rarely got advice about my problems from her. I gave a lot of myself to her in so many different ways with nothing in return and look how that turned out!
Lately I’ve been trying. Calling you to see how your trip went. Asking you about you before speaking about me and letting you know my days off the moment I knew so that we could make a little time to get things back on track.
I think a hang out just us two is necessary to mend things between us but more importantly I think it’s necessary for us to both realize that we are both different people and handle things differently and that our reactions to certain situations will never be the same but continuing to offend and hurt each other just seems so silly when we are such good friends .
Hope this message helped clarify a few things and maybe when your ready you can give me a call or respond to let me know how you feel.
Love you,
DRAMAQUEEN
Xo
» The next morning… REALLY FREAKIN’ EARLY……….
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“Please check your Facebook when you have a moment.”
» 4 hours later…………….
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“I know we aren’t speaking but I had to put you down as a passport reference. They wouldn’t let me use GIRL#5 because _____________. I hope that’s okay. I’m gonna give you space until you respond to my message. I hope you read it. It explains everything and lets you know how I feel.”
“Don’t you have to use someone who’s known you for 5 years?”
“2 years. I’m just renewing my passport.”
“Ah, okay. That’s fine.”
“They just told me now that I needed someone who __________ so I couldn’t think of anyone with a passport where I knew all of their info off by heart but you.”
» The next day…………………….
Facebook Inbox Message:
From: BLOGGERGIRL
To: DRAMAQUEEN
In a little over 24 hours you went from wanting to hang out to making me feel like I’m not being a good enough friend (when I completely disagree) to needing space from me to getting angry and basically telling me that a good friend of mine won’t care about me when the summer is over to missing me to telling me you hate that I’m friends with someone you introduced me to, to wanting to use me as a Passport reference. And with the exception of me responding to tell you it’s fine that we take some space, I didn’t actually speak to you at any point during the rest of it.
You and I are a lot alike in the sense that we get heated and passionate about things and people we care about but where I think we are very, very different is that I need to take time to be left alone to think about things and realize where I’m being ridiculous, over-sensitive or out-of-line. I need to not be screamed at by one of my best friends in the heat of the moment because she can’t take a couple minutes to read and process a Facebook message I sent in attempts to rectify the friendship. I need to not feel like I can’t say what I want to say for fear of hurting your feelings and I need to not have to scream back at you to have you actually listen to what I’m saying. I don’t think I really even need to mention the fact that you just sent a Facebook message to tell me how you felt – the exact same thing you screamed at me for, just a week or so ago.
I have said everything I possibly have to say to you about what’s been going on with us lately. I don’t need time to process your message. I don’t need time to think about what I need to do to fix the friendship when I feel like I’ve done everything my emotional capacity can handle to do that already. You say you were selfless in your friendship with GIRL#3 and, regardless of whether or not that’s the case, that has nothing to do with this friendship between you and I or the friendship between GIRL#3 and I. I’m sorry you resent the fact that GIRL#3 and I have become close and that you don’t feel that closeness with her anymore but that’s not something that can be blamed on any one person and it’s definitely not something I should feel guilty about.
Any issues between GIRL#3 and I were just that, between her and I. And any issues we may have had are in the past. You keep mentioning that her and I had problems before and yes, that’s true - no one’s denying that we did. We took our time apart, we worked through our issues and our relationship has become stronger because of or in spite of it. This is the absolute last time I’m going to tell you or anyone else that.
I’ll end this by saying again, that none of my messages or conversations with you have ever been intentionally hurtful or offensive and although I’d like to think that you weren’t intentionally trying to hurt or offend me to be honest, it’s hard for me to believe. On Tuesday, you said that, “when summer’s over and GIRL#3 finds a new crew as she always does, you have friends who really want to be part of my life” and that’s true; I do. But my issue with that is, I have friends (who are part of my life right now because they want to be) who won’t use that as a threat.
I have literally exhausted my thoughts and feelings on this subject and I’ve stopped walking on eggshells because you clearly are not giving me the same consideration. Let’s be friends or let’s not but I am completely exhausted with the back and forth. And I hope you are too.
SMS:
BLOGGERGIRL to DRAMAQUEEN
“I responded to your Facebook message.” [read, above]
Facebook Inbox Message:
From: DRAMAQUEEN
To: BLOGGERGIRL
This will be short. I want to be friends. My Facebook message was an attempt to apologize for my behavior because I recognize that I was out of line. I sent the message not because that’s my way of dealing with things but because I know u prefer that. Yes, I was out of line for saying GIRL#3 won’t be ur friend come fall but in my message I was trying to get u to understand why it bothers me and that it was because I missed her and not because I actually blamed you. You’ve hurt me a lot too and telling me you needed space then getting mad because I didn’t ask you why you were upset I found to be pretty ridiculous as well. I don’t feel that I have a problem admitting my wrongs. I feel sometimes I over admit them to mend things with those I care about. You telling me you wanted to hang out just us two and then making plans with other ppl on my two days off when originally you told me both those days worked for you felt shitty too. I don’t want to continue to place blame or to point fingers because in the end it’s obvious we’ve both said and done things to hurt/offend the other. We are different people and so maybe neither of us would have been offended with our actions but that doesn’t mean the other didn’t.
» A couple minutes later……..
Facebook Inbox Message:
From: DRAMAQUEEN
To: BLOGGERGIRL
Also, I know I should have told you I needed space from you because that is not what I wanted but I guess I was trying to make you feel the way you made me feel a couple times now in hopes that you would miss me the same way I missed you. Once I got home and settled down I realized how silly I was being and that’s when I made my attempt to rectify things.
» And again, a couple minutes later………..
Facebook Inbox Message:
From: DRAMAQUEEN
To: BLOGGERGIRL
I want to feel like you care and I know in the past I’ve been a great friend to you despite my actions lately. All I’m asking is that you try to see maybe where my ridiculousness was coming from. Bc I’ve been very hurt over our friendship and I know I am part to blame for that. I just want to get together annwork it out and really actually fix things.
» And a few seconds after that……………
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“I’m sure you’re probably busy and that’s why you haven’t responded but if you’re mad let me know. I just want to end all this silliness between us as soon as possible. I think we both know at the end of the day we are both good girls with good intentions and sometimes emotions can take over and get the best of us. Truce? One on one hang outs soon?”
“I’m not mad at all. I said everything I needed to say and I read your response, I’m just done talking this to death. I’m fine to move on from it but I’m not going to make a plan as to how we can fix everything because I think if we’re supposed to be good friends, things can fall back into place on their own. I hate the pressure. If we can both be mindful of each other more then we’ll be fine.”
“Perfect. That’s all I wanted to hear from you. I’m over it as well.”
» 13 days later………..
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“I’m not good with GIRL#3 right now. I don’t want to involve you [so WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ME???] because it has nothing to do with you though I’m sure you’ll hear lots about it because you two are close. Lots of stuff built up but it’s not important and my point in mentioning this to you is that I really don’t want it to affect you and I? And that’s the last I’ll speak of it.”
» 30 minutes later…………..
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“I hope that didn’t upset ou. The only reason I mentioned it is because I really don’t want it to affect us. You and I went through a rough patch and I just want to get back to the good stuff.”
» 7 days later………………. Things were fine between BLOGGERGIRL andDRAMAQUEEN. As fine as they could be, anyway. But suddenly on a Tuesday evening, something bad happened to BLOGGERGIRL and something even WORSE happened to GIRL#3. In wanting to keep the bad/WORSE things from getting out, this happened:
SMS:
BLOGGERGIRL to DRAMAQUEEN
“However public this [thing that happened] is, I really hope you don’t/haven’t fueled the fire by telling more people about GIRL#3 and me. I really hope there’s a trust level there, regardless of your relationship with GIRL#3.”
» A couple hours later…………… DRAMAQUEEN called BLOGGERGIRL at work and began yelling about the previous text message, saying that it was rude, unnecessary and that she felt attacked by the assumption that she had told anyone what had happened. [Which, she did.] After telling DRAMAQUEEN that it wasn’t intentionally accusatory but that DRAMAQUEEN’s Facebook Status Update [which was about the incident] might make people ask questions, BLOGGERGIRL mentioned again that she was at work and after listening to DRAMAQUEEN yell a bit more, BLOGGERGIRL hung up the phone on DRAMAQUEEN [maybe not the nicest thing to do but when you’re at work, you’re at work].
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“I wasn’t making it about my feelings at all but please trust me more as a friend. You just need to have more faith in me. Just please re-read your text “I really hope that there’s a trust level there, regardless of your relationship withGIRL#3” A) my relationship with her is none of your business, which is why I’ve decided not to involve you in this disagreement. B) that’s really rude and unnecessary for you to say to me and makes it very clear that you don’t trust me.”
“Don’t talk to me right now. Seriously, DON’T talk to me.”
Tweet:
DRAMAQUEEN » SO annoyed right now. #leavemealone
BLOGGERGIRL » @DRAMAQUEEN YOU’RE annoyed? Ha.
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“Fuck off BLOGGERGIRL.”
“Yep you too. You’re CRAZY.”
“No problem. I didn’t say anything out of line to you. Check yourself before you try to solve a problem before it even happens. I’m over being made to feel shitty when I didn’t even do anything. I was supportive towards GIRL#3 last night despite my feelings. You involving yourself pisses me off. And really? How so? [to the CRAZY comment] Seriously, I’m done. Leave me alone. You say shitty and mean things sometimes and today, this was uncalled for.
Tweet:
DRAMAQUEEN » I can’t believe that ended with “You’re CRAZY”
BLOGGERGIRL » Maybe if you wouldn’t tweet private conversations right after they happen, people wouldn’t call you crazy.
» BLOGGERGIRL unfollowed DRAMAQUEEN on Twitter.
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“Unfollow? Real mature. Now you and GIRL#3 can officially hate me together. Have fun.”
“See what I mean by CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!”
“I don’t want this relationship anymore. If you took a look in the mirror, you’d see you have flaws too. I would never call you crazy even if I thought it from time to time. I didn’t do anything wrong to you or GIRL#3 so fuck off. I don’t want one more text from you.”
“I don’t care anymore DRAMAQUEEN, that’s fine. If you ever want to selvedge what little friendship we may have, that can be your call. I asked you (did not accuse you) not to tell people about something that would embarrass GIRL#3 and I and if you can’t see how insane your reaction to that was, you’re not the girl I became friends with, nor someone I could ever befriend again. I’m still here for you, as I have been through everything and I’d like to hope that hasn’t been for nothing but I’ll let you be mad and keep me blocked until you’re ready to be over this, if that ever happens.”
“It’s sad when I’m scared to look at my phone because I’m worried that you will have another mean review about me. You may have been here for me but you’ve put me down a lot along the way lately and I’m actually at a breaking point. I literally feel like you don’t REALLY actually like or trust me at all. And to be honest, I’m sick of apologizing for my feelings and reactions when you never apologize for yours. Sometimes I feel that you are so entitled to your own opinion that you forget so am I. I want to be friends but I am sick of having this friendship where I’m begging for your attention and constantly worried that I’m going to mess things up even when I haven’t done anything yet. I’d like a few days for you to try and see my side and why I was offended by your text and your reaction as well.”
» 30 minutes later…………
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“I went back to work so upset about our texting that it may have cost me my promotion. From now on, don’t text me while I’m working.”
» BLOGGERGIRL removed DRAMAQUEEN as a Facebook Friend.
» The next day at 11pm……………
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“Thanks for the Facebook delete. That was unnecessary. It’s very clear you don’t want to be my friend so I’ll make it easy for you. It’s been months that I’ve been sucking up to you and feeling like you don’t care to really be around me and even when you say you care, I still rarely see you. Your text yesterday was extremely accusatory whether you think it was or not. You make me feel like shit about myself all the time lately. You’re not who I thought you were. Please don’t respond to this. I’ve cried enough over our friendship.”
» One hour later………………
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“You’ve really hurt me lately and I wish you recognized that I have not once been intentionally mean towards you but you keep kicking our friendship in the face. I’m asking you to be civil here on it. This didn’t need to be a problem between you and I and you caused it to defend GIRL#3 when GIRL#3 knew herself I would never fuel that fire. Hope you’re happy. Our friendship ending is something I feel you’ve been wanting this entire summer. Let’s just end it on a civil note. I need more positivity and I’m sure you do too.”
» The next morning……………….
SMS:
DRAMAQUEEN to BLOGGERGIRL
“I’d really like all my things back so you can either give them to GIRL#3 or get them to me yourself but I would like them back. Especially my purse, considering you’ve had it all summer and I’d actually like to use it. I’ll send whatever I have of yours your way also.”
Tweet:
DRAMAQUEEN » I don’t even know what a best friend is anymore. And to be honest, I’m okay with that.
DRAMAQUEEN » Girls are your best best friends one minute and then over you the next and the cycle repeats itself and I’m tired of being a girl about it. DRAMAQUEEN » I really need more positive surroundings. Onward and upward!
DRAMAQUEEN » That dirty little knot in the pit of your stomach. DRAMAQUEEN » Out of touch.
DRAMAQUEEN » And in the end it is always the same, everyone leaves me.
DRAMAQUEEN » And in the end we are all the same.
DRAMAQUEEN » I’m too sensitive for my own good. Maybe this time I’ll learn my lesson.
DRAMAQUEEN » Onward and upward! At least my favourite fur is back in my hands… not that I can wear it this time of year.
DRAMAQUEEN » One tough morning and a perfect boyfriend to make me realize how amazing I am. #peoplethatmatterdontmind
DRAMAQUEEN » Time is money but I’m feeling good. Putting a little extra effort in these days and the confidence that comes out of it is priceless!
DRAMAQUEEN » I’ve had so many different kinds of alcohol tonight I don’t need anymore #imawesome
DRAMAQUEEN » In line at timmies in desperate need of an icecap. Feeling shaky! My medication makes my head feel weird! : (
DRAMAQUEENI’m focusing on bettering myself because I can’t change anyone but me!
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*Everything written above is an exact transcript of conversations via SMS messages, Facebook Inbox Messages and Tweets. Some of it has been edited to make sense (although content has not been changed), grammar and spelling have been corrected and incriminating/useless information has been removed.
